‘You Are Too Much’
You, the gifted child, came into the world with such vitality and joy — you see the world through kaleidoscopic lenses, every color and shape a wonder to behold.
Your mind is a maze of endless possibilities, and your heart beats with passion and intensity.
You broadcast your love to the world, scream at any injustice you witness, and react to your surroundings as swiftly and powerfully as passing storms.
But then something happened.
You find within you something that says, ‘You are too much.’
It wasn’t there when you came into the world.
Now it permeates the entirety of your being.
Suddenly, you are no longer that shining bright fire.
Your passion and intensity begin to dwindle.
Where did the demon come from? From where have you gotten the message ‘You are too much’?
Oh dear, from the get-go.
From when you were in your mother’s womb, perhaps.
It may not be anyone’s fault, but the tragedy is that who you are goes beyond what your parents can ever comprehend.
They nod and smile as you eagerly share your latest discovery, but you know they are not really hearing you.
They do not get your humor, finding it too complex or obscure, though they occasionally pretend to laugh.
Their faces blank out when you talk to them about complex ideas and happenings in the world, for they prefer the mundane, the safe, the comfortable.
Disagreements led to closed doors and turned backs, with difficult conversations avoided at all costs.
When your emotions burn too bright, they turn away and say you are overreacting and overly sensitive, labeling you the family’s black sheep.
They tell you to tone it down, be humble, fit in, and be more like the others.
From the way they look at you, or not look at you; from what they say to you, or not say to you, all tell you ‘you are too much’.
Your soul is simply beyond their grasp, beyond their reach, something they cannot control, temper and teach.
They may try, but in the end, all they do is misunderstand.
What choice do you have but to dim your light just to survive?
You learned to hide your gifts, downplay your intelligence, and blend in with the crowd.
You became a shadow of who you truly are, a mere fraction of the brilliance that lay within.
Day after day, you were made to feel like a burden — as though your very existence is a fire to be extinguished.
It is no wonder that you carry these wounds with you today.
No wonder you struggle to trust and open up to others, fearing that they will reject you just as you have rejected yourself.
But I didn’t say all these to make you despair.
Have faith, for hope is there for you.
It may surprise you, but it’s never too late to reclaim your light.
I’ve seen it again and again with those in their 50s, 60s, and 70s.
They embark on this journey because even a single day of living as their true gifted selves, even a fleeting moment of finding a kindred spirit, makes it all worthwhile.
Of course, it takes courage to look back as you fear the floodgate of sadness to shake your safe, seemingly contented life.
But then again, why are you reading this if everything is truly okay?
You know life is passing by; you know, on some level, time is running out.
You miss your true self that lies beneath.
Healing might be stormy, but then if you face it, the storm of healing will pass.
If you resist it though, it will haunt you.
The wounds of ‘you are too much’ will not disappear but remains a beautiful scar — and as a veteran of life, you can wear it with honor.
Maybe it is time to step out of the shadow and pluck out that toxic snake that whispers ‘too much’ in your ears.
Let them see the beauty in your kaleidoscopic mind,
pour out the passion in your heart, and broadcast your love for the world.
If they turn away, let them go.
Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever.
Perhaps some were only meant to cross your path.
Some don’t deserve a place on your path at all.
When you open that frozen door, there is a world waiting for you to seize.
Imi
